Dear Diary,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  Let's hope 2010 is the best for both of us and may all of our wishes come true!

So many people have been asking for the lyrics of my Bad Romance parody so here they are! Be warned- adult content!!

SHIT MY PANTS

OH... I'M GONNA SHIT MY PANTS

RAH ...  JUST SHIT IN MY PANTS (KUMBA YA)

I ATE SOME BLACK BEANS

A GREASY SOUFFLE

I WASHED IT DOWN WITH A DOUBLE LATTE

I HAVE TO GO, GO-GO-GO, I HAVE TO GO

FEEL SOMETHING GOOEY

AND WARM ON MY THIGH

CAUSE I AM SITTING ON A CHOCOLATE MUD PIE

I MOVED TOO SLOW, SLOW-SLOW-SLOW, I MOVED TOO SLOW

I TRIED TO CONTROL IT

BUT I COULDN'T HOLD IT

SO SAD I SHIT, SHIT MY PANTS

*I HAD A MUFFIN, COME OUT OF MY OVEN

CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SHIT MY PANTS

OH YES IT'S TRUE, I'M ALL COVERED IN POO

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SHIT MY PANTS

OH... GIRL I JUST SHIT MY PANTS. OH... WHY DID I SHIT MY PANTS

RAH... JUST SHIT IN MY PANTS

A NASTY FLU OR

A BLADDER TRAUMA

MAYBE THE REVENGE OF MONTEZUMA

THERE IS NO LOVE, LOVE-LOVE-LOVE, THERE IS NO LOVE

I FOUND A TOILET

BUT NOT AS I PLANNED

THERE AIN'T NO PAPER GOTTA CLEAN WITH MY HAND

I NEED A GLOVE, GLOVE-GLOVE-GLOVE, I NEED A GLOVE

WIPE WIPE FLUSH IT BABY

WORK IT THAT SMELLS LIKE CRAZY

WIPE WIPE FLUSH IT BABY

WORK IT I'M A STINK BITCH BABY

DON'T WANT DIAPERS

DON'T PLUG UP MY REAR END

DON'T WANT DIAPERS

I DON'T WANT NO DEPENDS

FRENCH

I DON'T WANT NO DEPENDS x2

JUST SHIT IN MY PANTS x2